I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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