obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
