You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
