Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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