So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
