Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
