I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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