He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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