32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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