Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
