My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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