It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
