I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
