god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
