What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
