A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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