Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
