I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize