So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
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