I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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