I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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