We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
my liver is dry heaving
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
