He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
