About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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