i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
