I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
