omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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