If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
