I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
