turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
