You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
