Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
