i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
