Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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