.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want nice things and good sex
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
