So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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