He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
