are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
