Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
