Just fell off a train. Bad.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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