I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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