Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
