Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
