just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
