Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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