I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
