think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize