I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
