he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
