I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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