I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
