Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
