That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
