forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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