I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize