Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
